Why Does Goal Setting Fail?
Failure is success in progress.
Albert Einstein
Although goal setting seems so simple and straightforward, a lot of us fail to follow through and achieve the things that we want. In my experience, I found the below reasons to be my primary shortcomings when pursuing my goals.
Not knowing yourself
I am very good when it comes to dreaming big and setting ambitious goals. I get all excited and motivated. I feel like I can conquer the whole world. However, my initial excitement fades away after a while and I dread the whole idea of looking at my goals because they seem very scary and overwhelming. I realized this in myself and now try to use strategies and tools that help me stick to my goals. Setting SMART goals, regularly reviewing them, breaking them down into digestible pieces, and scheduling time to achieve them, are some of the ways I got better at committing to my goals. The lesson – know yourself and areas that might drag you back so you take precautionary measures ahead of time.
Setting vague and generic goals
I used to set goals that were not clear enough, which made it difficult to determine what actions I needed to take. For example, I wanted to get a dream job, without clearly knowing what would constitute a dream job. When I sat down to describe all the aspects of my dream job, I came to realize that I actually wanted independence and flexibility more than anything else. I concluded that my dream was not to work at a multilateral organization in Asia, but rather my dream was to work for myself. This helped me to shift my perspective, spend more time getting to know myself, discover my passions, and learn skills that would help me to transition to self-employment. The lesson – know what you want and set specific goals that you can track.
Wanting to do everything at once
When you start setting goals for your future, it is very tempting to set too many goals within a short period of time. After all, if you could choose between achieving 10 goals and 1, which one would you choose? I would set so many goals that it was humanly impossible to achieve them, even if I would be working on them 24/7 round the clock. The sole idea of my goals made me feel overwhelmed and miserable. I tried to achieve everything and ended up achieving nothing. The most important lesson I learned was ‘to focus on one thing at a time’ to avoid spreading myself thin or failing miserably. This has saved my life and helped me stay sane. The lesson – narrow down your goals, prioritize the ones that matter the most, and focus your full energy on achieving those few.
Lacking a clear timeline
People sometimes tend to think that they have eternity at their disposal. I am surely guilty of this. I used to get goals at the beginning of the year, aka the New Year Resolutions, and never go back and look at them again. I did not set a clear timeline by which I wanted to achieve my goals or specific action steps I needed to take. I am sure some of you can relate to this when you end up postponing important things and always find a valid reason to justify your lack of commitment. The lesson – if you have a goal, give it a deadline by which you have fulfilled it and keep yourself accountable to it.
Setting unrealistic goals
In the midst of the excitement, we tend to set unrealistically ambitious goals. In most cases, we feel hopeless and give up on them way before we even start. I came to appreciate the compound effect of small and consistent actions. When after a long break I decided to get back to exercising, I set a daily goal of doing yoga for 5 minutes. You might ask – what on earth 5 minutes of yoga can do? While I did not enjoy all the benefits of yoga, I built a consistent practice until I could commit to longer sessions. And, in 99% of the cases, I extended my practice to 15 minutes. I decided that 10-15 minutes of daily exercise was better than not moving at all or exercising for 1 hour twice a week. Starting small helped me to get back my confidence and desire to move. Eventually, I transitioned to 60 minutes of exercise 5 times a week. If I were initially to start with this goal, I would most likely give up on it. The lesson – start small and increase your expectations as you get comfortable.
Discounting the failure
No matter what you do, there is a chance of failure. There is no escape from it. You can either try things and fail, or you can avoid failing by not trying things, which is a failure in itself as you fail to live your life to the fullest. Acknowledging and accepting this fact can help you be realistic with yourself and save a ton of energy. I am sure, by now you have heard enough about why failure is good for you. I encourage you to decide for yourself in terms of what failure can do for you. Instead of thinking about what failure stops you from doing, focus on what it can enable you to do. For instance, for me, failure is immediate feedback on my efforts and the opportunity to learn so I can make better and informed decisions next time around. Failure is a result of my actions and not who I am. The lesson – accept the possibility of failure and decide what you will do with it.
Not tracking and reviewing goals
It happened to me in the past, that I would set goals and never look back at them again. I thought it is enough to have them on the back of my mind, as a reminder of what I needed to do. Then, life would get in my way and I would be busy accomplishing things or goals set by other people, that I totally forgot to track my progress and see if my goals were still relevant. I learned to incorporate monthly check-in times to review my goals, to see if I am on the right track if my goals are still relevant and if I need to change anything about my approach. The lesson – schedule time to review your goals, track your progress, and evaluate your priorities.
Knowing that the road towards achieving your goals will be bumpy and nonlinear allows you to set realistic expectations and buckle up so you can get through the turbulent times and come out stronger and better equipped.
As the next step check out posts related to goal setting and committing to your goals so you can make sure you set realistic goals and create habits that are conducive to growth.
This post is part of the 5-Step Guide to Personal Development blog series.
How easy or difficult is it for you to commit to your goals? Did you experience any of these shortcomings when pursuing your goals? Let me know your experience in the comments below.
